I warned you at the end of the last post, we were on to conquering pumping next...lol !!!
I had not put any thought into how we planned on feeding this baby. We hadn't discussed breastfeeding, nor had we discussed using formula...we still had 3 and a half months to go. Surely we would talk about all that fun stuff at prenatal classes...or not !!!
The morning after Liam was born, a lactation consultant came to see me. I didn't even know there was such a thing !!! This woman came in, and sat next to my bed...pulled up the table, and spread out a bunch of charts and reading material. She started to explain to me that it was very important I start to pump immediately. By the time Liam was born, any dignity I had left was gone out the window, so having some strange woman insist on demonstrating how to pump was really no biggie !!! On top of the fact that I was as big as a cow, now I really felt like one. She explained that it would probably take a couple of days before much would happen...my body had not been quite ready to have a baby, and sometimes a section can cause it to take a little longer. Pumping was honestly the most frustrating and PAINFUL thing!!! I almost gave up a couple of times. I would try to stick to the schedule they gave me, keeping track of amounts, and times, but those first few days were very discouraging. I remember the first time I got that little bit of colostrum...it barely filled a 1 ml syringe, but I was over the moon !!! They would give it to Liam through his feeding tube....1 ml over a matter of hours..seems crazy now to think about it !! I practically ran to the NICU, they must've thought I was mental !!!
I never did have alot of luck pumping...I did the best that I could until Liam came home, and by that point the amount he was eating was just too much for me to keep up anymore. It was frustrating some days, to see other moms come in with bags and bags of milk...it just wasn't in the cards for me I guess...but I'm happy I was able to give him that "liquid gold" for the first 3 months of his life.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Does anyone really want a c-section !?!?
Before I even got pregnant, I used to think the idea I having a c-section sounded much nicer than the alternative...no pushing, no tearing, you get the idea !!! I used to read how c-sections were on the rise across North America, and I used to think d-uh ...of course..have you ever watched "A Baby Story" on TLC !?!?!Now, I just want to slap anyone who tells me they would purposely choose to have a section !!!
I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be pain, and LOTS of drugs....that was until I was faced with delivering a 24 week baby...who was breech !!!
There was no way that anyone was going to let this baby be born vaginally....it was just not an option. The baby needed to be born quickly, and a vaginal delivery could cause problems....so c-section it was, and I NEVER in a million years expected the pain that followed.....for WEEKS !!!!
As many of you who are reading this know, it's tough those first few nights. The nurses tell you to get your rest, yet they're in your room every couple of hours, to check your vitals. After a section they want you up, and walking as much as you can tolerate that first night. I must have looked at my nurse like she had 3 heads....really ?!?! you want me to walk across the room ?!?! my legs felt like they were tree trunks. It seemed like an eternity by the time I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I thought to myself..by the time I get across this room, it's going to be time to do it all over again !!! The patience some of those nurses had....my god..they were amazing !!! I finally made it across the room, clutching my iv pole. I have never experienced such pain as that. It felt as if every stitch would pop right out if i made one wrong move, turned the wrong way in bed, laughed a little.....
I conquered that first challenge..next...peeing, and pumping...GOOD TIMES !!!
I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be pain, and LOTS of drugs....that was until I was faced with delivering a 24 week baby...who was breech !!!
There was no way that anyone was going to let this baby be born vaginally....it was just not an option. The baby needed to be born quickly, and a vaginal delivery could cause problems....so c-section it was, and I NEVER in a million years expected the pain that followed.....for WEEKS !!!!
As many of you who are reading this know, it's tough those first few nights. The nurses tell you to get your rest, yet they're in your room every couple of hours, to check your vitals. After a section they want you up, and walking as much as you can tolerate that first night. I must have looked at my nurse like she had 3 heads....really ?!?! you want me to walk across the room ?!?! my legs felt like they were tree trunks. It seemed like an eternity by the time I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I thought to myself..by the time I get across this room, it's going to be time to do it all over again !!! The patience some of those nurses had....my god..they were amazing !!! I finally made it across the room, clutching my iv pole. I have never experienced such pain as that. It felt as if every stitch would pop right out if i made one wrong move, turned the wrong way in bed, laughed a little.....
I conquered that first challenge..next...peeing, and pumping...GOOD TIMES !!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
A moment in time....
This post makes me the most emotional so far I think. When I think back to that precise moment, it's a feeling I will never forget for the rest of my life.
We were introduced to Liam's nurse, who eventually turned out to be one of his main night nurses. I can't imagine that it's ever easy for an NICU nurse to watch new parents and the flood of emotions that follow, when they meet their baby for the first time. Nancy, was so kind and wonderful to us on that day. One of Liam's angels.
We were brought to his bedside, and told not to panic by the amount of equipment surrounding him. As any parent of a baby who has been in the NICU can attest to...the sound of the NICU is something one never forgets. The constant sound of alarms and monitors is still very engrained in my memory.
It wasn't like a 1,2,3 are you ready thing (thank god)...they let us lift up the cover on our own....and there he was *tear*...he was like the tiniest baby bird. He weighed 690 grams, he was 12 inches long, red as could be, skin so translucent it looked as if it would tear. He had tubes and wires everywhere, his eyes were still fused shut. He wore the tiniest diaper either one of us had ever seen....but there he was....tiny BUT absolutely perfect in every way !!!! This was our son, and we were his parents !!!! WOW !!!
There were so many emotions at that moment...thankful that he had survived such a traumatic birth, joy to be able to say this was our son, fear of the unknown, anger that this had happened to all of us...it's just so hard to explain.
Nevertheless, here he was , and life as we knew it took on a whole new meaning......
We were introduced to Liam's nurse, who eventually turned out to be one of his main night nurses. I can't imagine that it's ever easy for an NICU nurse to watch new parents and the flood of emotions that follow, when they meet their baby for the first time. Nancy, was so kind and wonderful to us on that day. One of Liam's angels.
We were brought to his bedside, and told not to panic by the amount of equipment surrounding him. As any parent of a baby who has been in the NICU can attest to...the sound of the NICU is something one never forgets. The constant sound of alarms and monitors is still very engrained in my memory.
It wasn't like a 1,2,3 are you ready thing (thank god)...they let us lift up the cover on our own....and there he was *tear*...he was like the tiniest baby bird. He weighed 690 grams, he was 12 inches long, red as could be, skin so translucent it looked as if it would tear. He had tubes and wires everywhere, his eyes were still fused shut. He wore the tiniest diaper either one of us had ever seen....but there he was....tiny BUT absolutely perfect in every way !!!! This was our son, and we were his parents !!!! WOW !!!
There were so many emotions at that moment...thankful that he had survived such a traumatic birth, joy to be able to say this was our son, fear of the unknown, anger that this had happened to all of us...it's just so hard to explain.
Nevertheless, here he was , and life as we knew it took on a whole new meaning......
Getting ready to meet our little man !!
The main unit of the NICU was one long room, and lined on both sides were about 8 to 10 isolettes. Isolettes holding babies as tiny and sick as Liam, protected from the light of the room , by what looked like specially designed quilts. There were 2 types of isolettes, and Liam spent the first month or so, in what they call a Giraffe Omnibed. These beds are specifically designed to allow for as much care as needed for a baby, without all the handling from the outside world. The babies can be weighed right from their beds.
What I remember most vividly, before even getting a glimpse of Liam was this sensation of pure heat !! I don't remember if the NICU itself was warm, or if it was just the emotional and physical exhaustion hitting me, but boy was I glad to be in that wheelchair !!! I could feel the emotion just from entering the main room. All the babies, and their families...the exhausted parents, the fear and uncertainty we were all facing. Were we really going to be able to handle this ? And was everything going to be alright ? Only time would tell.....
What I remember most vividly, before even getting a glimpse of Liam was this sensation of pure heat !! I don't remember if the NICU itself was warm, or if it was just the emotional and physical exhaustion hitting me, but boy was I glad to be in that wheelchair !!! I could feel the emotion just from entering the main room. All the babies, and their families...the exhausted parents, the fear and uncertainty we were all facing. Were we really going to be able to handle this ? And was everything going to be alright ? Only time would tell.....
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Our new world....the NICU
I was relieved when the nurse finally came back to tell me they were bringing me to my room. Up until now, I hadn't put much thought into why they had asked me what kind of health coverage I had. For any of you who know me, you'll also know I had just lost my job as a manager with Movie Gallery for the last 8 years, so needless to say, the coverage was pretty basic. The hospital was great though with our situation, and we found ourselves in a private room. It was nice to be on our own, to share time with our family and friends, and not have to be in a room with another set of new parents, with a perfectly healthy newborn. ( I hope that doesn't sound terribly insensitive, but I know other preemie moms will understand )
A few hours , and a couple rounds of pain meds later, the nurse came and asked if we were ready to see our son. Ready ?!?!?! Are you kidding ?!?!?! We had been waiting for this moment for hours !!!! Dave helped me into the wheelchair, and we made our way down to the NICU. I don't know what was going through either one of our minds at that moment really...I have to admit, I think there was just as much fear as there was excitement.
I think our hearts were both racing, as they showed us where to wash our hands before entering the NICU. I was a picture of pure 'hotness" in my hospital gown and humongous cankles...but at that moment none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered was that we were going to meet our son.....Liam.
The NICU at St.Joe's has since moved to Children's Hospital but at the time it was a level 3 NICU, meaning the sickest , and smallest babies were born or transported there. Liam was in the main unit of the NICU where the babies needing the highest level of care were.
Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared us for what we were about to see........
A few hours , and a couple rounds of pain meds later, the nurse came and asked if we were ready to see our son. Ready ?!?!?! Are you kidding ?!?!?! We had been waiting for this moment for hours !!!! Dave helped me into the wheelchair, and we made our way down to the NICU. I don't know what was going through either one of our minds at that moment really...I have to admit, I think there was just as much fear as there was excitement.
I think our hearts were both racing, as they showed us where to wash our hands before entering the NICU. I was a picture of pure 'hotness" in my hospital gown and humongous cankles...but at that moment none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered was that we were going to meet our son.....Liam.
The NICU at St.Joe's has since moved to Children's Hospital but at the time it was a level 3 NICU, meaning the sickest , and smallest babies were born or transported there. Liam was in the main unit of the NICU where the babies needing the highest level of care were.
Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared us for what we were about to see........
Thursday, November 3, 2011
August 5th, 2010....a very special day.
When Liam was born, Dave and I became parents almost 16 weeks ahead of schedule !!! 16 WEEKS !!!! That's more than 3 months....but yet there he was, and according to the doctors, he had 10 little fingers, and 10 little toes, and everything else that goes along with a little boy.
Liam was whisked away very quickly, they needed to do everything possible to resuscitate this little boy, and get him intubated, and stable. We didn't get to see him , and we have none of those blissful first family photographs that most people have. Instead, we were left to wonder what was happening to our precious little boy while "Doogie Howser" stitched me up. I remember thinking...." Good god, how old are these doctors...and should they be talking about their weekend plans while they perform surgery "....lol...silly now, when I think about it !!!
Once I was all stitched up, it was off to recovery. We still had very little information on Liam, and being in recovery was very difficult for me. Dave had gone to see our family and friends that were waiting, to let them know what was going on. I was wheeled into a corner, where I laid for what seemed like an eternity !!! I was offered some ice water, and helped into some fantastic "stretchy" underwear, that I could pull up to my armpits....lol !!!! As I lay there, I couldn't help but notice a new family across from me...bonding with their most adorable newborn....all I could do was cry, and wonder what was going on with our little man. I was so very grateful to have Dave and our family come back to the room....I needed a distraction from everything that was so perfect for another new family, and I needed to know how Liam was.
Liam was whisked away very quickly, they needed to do everything possible to resuscitate this little boy, and get him intubated, and stable. We didn't get to see him , and we have none of those blissful first family photographs that most people have. Instead, we were left to wonder what was happening to our precious little boy while "Doogie Howser" stitched me up. I remember thinking...." Good god, how old are these doctors...and should they be talking about their weekend plans while they perform surgery "....lol...silly now, when I think about it !!!
Once I was all stitched up, it was off to recovery. We still had very little information on Liam, and being in recovery was very difficult for me. Dave had gone to see our family and friends that were waiting, to let them know what was going on. I was wheeled into a corner, where I laid for what seemed like an eternity !!! I was offered some ice water, and helped into some fantastic "stretchy" underwear, that I could pull up to my armpits....lol !!!! As I lay there, I couldn't help but notice a new family across from me...bonding with their most adorable newborn....all I could do was cry, and wonder what was going on with our little man. I was so very grateful to have Dave and our family come back to the room....I needed a distraction from everything that was so perfect for another new family, and I needed to know how Liam was.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)