And baby makes 3....in 9 months right ?

Mid March of 2010, we headed off for a weekend away with some friends, and we had a fantastic time !! By the time we got home, something was feeling just a bit different, my period hadn't come, and I knew the next logical step to that was to take a pregnancy test. A trip to the drug store, a pee later, and what I had staring back at me were 2 perfectly straight little lines....they may as well have been shouting "you're pregnant" right at me !!! I think I sat there for about 20 minutes staring at this little piece of plastic I had just peed on....I mean obviously I was excited, but in that excitement I will admit to a bit ( ok a lot ) of fear as well !!!!  I remember calling Dave at work, and a couple of girlfriends right away ..this was going to be THE HARDEST thing to keep from people...I wanted to tell the world, I didn't want to wait the 3 months they suggest..that seemed like an eternity !!! Of course both of our parents were very excited..mine maybe even more, considering I am an only child and at 35, my parents were beginning to give up on the idea that they would ever be grandparents...lol. As I sit here now, thinking back on everything, it's the silliest,and most vain thing ever ( considering what we were soon to go through )....I remember thinking..."PERFECT....this little person will be born sometime before Christmas, giving me all the time in the world to fit back into my summer clothes again" !!!! That makes me feel soooooo guilty now !!! Guilt is something that doesn't go away, even though I know there was NOTHING we could have done differently, but as a mom, when you're unable to carry your baby to term, guilt is just a feeling that is automatic......