Just when everything was looking up.....

We'd had a few really positive days, and it really felt like we were on the right track.....too bad no one prepared me for a scene out of ER !!!! When Liam was born, he had an umbilical catheter, two tiny little tubes that were half hidden by his humongous diaper. The goal over the first few days was to take that catheter out and insert a PIC line, which is basically a different IV, usually inserted into a larger vein in the arm or leg. We knew that they had had some difficulty trying to insert this PIC line....but figured that it was just a matter of time. Mind you, it honestly seemed like an impossible task, even for such trained people...how do you find a vein in a 690 gram baby !?!? The staff was great at letting us know if something had changed with Liam, or if he needed something changed to his treatment...if we weren't at the hospital, they ALWAYS made sure to call us at home....although, my heart always stopped when the caller ID would light up Private Name....I was always a bit panic stricken...what if ?! what if something had happened, what if he had stopped breathing, what if he had a seizure...OMG...honestly...how I'm still relatively sane is a good question ( no smart ass comments here please..lol )
I hadn't heard from the hospital that morning, so I assumed that everything was going well ( no new is good news right ?? ) ....I made my way into London...drove the 30 minutes it took to get there...it always felt like it took forever...lol....scrubbed up...and walked into the main unit. I could see that they were working around a baby, and as I made my way to Liam's incubator, I realized they were working on Liam....all I saw was BLOOD...blood all over the place !!!! What in the hell !!!!??? Why had no one called me, and what were they doing !?!?! I just wanted to scream and cry, and grab Liam and run !!!! ( not sure where...lol ) They hadn't let me know that they were going to try the PIC line, because I think they felt confident that they would finally be successful...Liam's veins had another idea !!! It was the most horrific sight ever !!! Needless to say the PIC line was not meant to be for Liam, and his umbilical catheter remained for a while longer.....